My schedule is kinda packed now, and will be worse as weeks go by.

But I’m not complaining! I love this semester due to “Psychology”, “Medical Sociology” and “Government and Politics of Singapore” modules.

I love the tutorials! I actually have to think now. I love Arts modules. They are interactive, boundless and creative. I have the opportunity to learn together with the non-Science students and engaged in discussions which opened my mind to many interesting point of views (which are neither right nor wrong).

Especially during politics tutorial today… Out of 24 students in our group, only TWO were from Science – me and my nursing friend! I was extremely impressed by how the non-Science people argued their points and how they were opinionated and bold to voice out.

It was simply mind-blowing.

I wish that Science students can be similar in this aspect too, it will definitely spice things up in school.

I believe they are not passive or reserved, but the question is,

WHAT IS THERE TO ARGUE ABOUT WHEN ALL WE ARE “LEARNING”/READING ARE MERELY HARD-CORE FACTS???

WHAT IS THERE TO THINK ABOUT??? WHEN THERE IS A DEFINITE ANSWER TO EVERY QUESTION.

SCIENCE DULLS ONE’S MIND AND MAKES ONE UNCREATIVE.

IT IS A ONE-WAY LEARNING WHERE TEACHERS TEACH AND STUDENTS LISTEN AND MEMORISE.

However, after all’s been said, of course Science is still extremely important in life. We need the knowledge, especially in healthcare when you’d never know when you could make use that piece of knowledge to actually save a life.

I love learning (but not studying for the mere sake of it). Sometimes I ask the seemingly most ridiculous questions, which people take for granted, just for the mere fun of  intriguing a person or making a fool out of myself.

Why do you pronounce “Soldier” as so-JURE and not so-DIER?

Why are there more guys playing pool than girls? When it’s not even a physically-demanding “sport”.

If the Sikhs are Indians, why don’t they want to be classified as Indians? Their ICs show their “race” as “Sikhs” instead.
(This was a question brought up by my Sikh politics lecturer which I went around asking my friends =P Nobody knows! But I found out eventually on Wiki)

Ok I can’t think of any more questions I asked, these are the most recent ones hahaha. I think I have very nice and accommodating friends :)

 

On a lighter note, it was such a fun night!!! I hardly hang out actually because at the back of my mind, there are always things I know I ought to do. =/

A friend had just gotten his 9-months bonus and so treated a few of us for dinner, pool and supper lol.

 

@ Soupspoon @ Raffles City
My FIRST time! Finally

My incredibly awesome Minestrone!!!
I had just learnt the proper way of pronouncing that… :) It’s actually 4-syllabic.

And his wild mushroom soup thing which I didn’t really like

Chicken wrap thing which I liked! But the salad was the weirdest one ever. This picture is bad.

Pool @ Bugis

I totally suck in pool! So I stopped playing after 3 rounds to spare my poor partners lol…

Then the famous Rochor beancurd!
Awesomeness!

 

Thank God it’s Friday!!!

 

 

p/s: And I wonder why do people like taking pictures of FOOD??? For me, food is a wonderful piece of art! Creative in every aspect – colours, texture, combination, decoration (Garnishes? And inedible salad like the above) and even the thoughtful blending of taste.

What’s there not to love about food! =)

In a very unusual way, I owe what I am to you.
Though at times it appears I won't stay, I never go.
Special to me in my life,
Since the first day that I met you.
How could I ever forget you,
Once you had touched my soul?

- “Unusual Way” in movie “NINE”

 

It says it all.

 

~~~

 

I saw the trailer for “NINE”, it looks like an awesome musical and I WANNA WATCH IT. :)

I woke up at 2pm today after much tossing on the bed, trying to relish the very last moment of sleep.

I have been exhausting my mind recently with school and unnecessary stuff. I think I need another vacation =P

Spent my day playing piano, which is getting really depressing due to my malfunctioned left hand.

My piano teacher has been teaching me music theory for the past 2 months. It’s plain and dry and kinda suck. I don’t really look forward to it now. (Which probably explains why I overslept and totally forgot I had lesson on Thursday)

It’s high time I start practising for my September practical exam on my own. What have I been doing!!!

~~~

“The Jewelled Air” @ The Arts House

Went for a performance tonight with my orchestra’s bassoonist. It was a hassle to find people to go! Everyone I asked (whom I thought would be interested) had something on.

For that reason, I would rather do things alone sometimes. AND I’m nearly anti-social now hahaha.

@ The Living Room before the start of the performance.

We sat at the FIRST row! Lol… So it was reeeally near to the performers.

A chair which speaks. It exudes so much aura, even in this picture haha.

I would love to have the honour to sit there with my cello one fine day. And perform of course lol…

Oboe, bassoon, clarinet and piano.

This was an oboe and bassoon duet with piano accompaniment. I thought that the oboe and bassoon go well together!

Clarinet has a soothing sound which I liked too.

40 minutes into the performance, it dawned upon me that I actually know the bassoonist! –_- She played for our orchestra before and I remember we even had some small talks and I brought some food for her during break.

I’m just bad in recognising faces. =/

All well in the end, the performance was greeeeeeeat. I am surprised I liked it though I’m not a fan of woodwinds =P

I actually teared a little at one part… The joy exuded by the musicians and the sincerity of their music were too touching. =’)

Been hit by the harshness of reality recently… And I thought maybe that’s the world’s way of saying HELLo.

I am staying strong. I have/need/want to.

There is no pausing in life. It drags you along as long as you are alive.

Sometimes I feel like a coconut riding on the waves of life, being tossed about by the circumstances around me.

 

There are many things beyond the boundaries of my control and maybe the only thing I can control is my mind.

I can choose to believe.
I can choose the kind of words I wanna tell myself or say to others.
I can decide to love someone.
To change my attitude…
To renew my mindset.
And maybe… To deceive myself.

And alternatively, the opposite of everything above.

 

I can force myself not to think about it… Some things are so heartbreaking, you wanna just chuck it at the back of your mind, and hope for the best.

I don’t dare to close my eyes, for the things I see in my imagination scare me and make me sad.

It is mentally exhausting, I wish I can sleep instantly.

It’s MONDAY.

The thought of school is overwhelming, so I am just going to take one day at a time.

Since the start of school, I have been having various assorted bad dreams almost every time I sleep. Even in the littlest of sleep.

I wouldn’t call them nightmares, just bad dreams.

 

Such as

1) Swimming as I ‘escorted’ the world’s largest crocodile out into the wild and as doing so, my legs brushed by a fat snake which was something like an Anaconda.

After the crocodile was released, a smaller crocodile bit me on my legs and I woke up.

2) I was at my grandma’s and there were 5 cats in it… I quickly hopped on to a couch and watched as those cats marched by me, looking evil with their slanted eyes.

Suddenly they split into 2 and started growling at each other. Stupid cats. I hate cats.

3) Someone broke my cello. The wood of the back was split. I was hugging it and crying so badly. And I woke up.

4) I accidentally hit a ‘bass’ guitar… It was a guitar which probably is non-existent in reality but in my dreams I perceived it as a bass guitar which had 6 strings and golden pegs.

It was resting on its stand when I knocked it, my cello was resting on its stand beside it. And my first instinct was to save my cello from being hit by the guitar.

Haha, so anyway, the owner of the guitar was just beside me. After I knocked it, all the strings loosened and I looked at him and said “Erm… It’s ok, you can always tighten back the pegs…”

No it’s not ok to him. Haha.

 

~~~

Today must have been the bleakest Sunday ever. I had only ONE face-to-face interaction the entire day.

Went for a different service so I was alone. Happened to sit next to a Philippino (Is that the right spelling?) Neurology nurse and so we talked briefly.

THAT WAS IT.

Came home and resumed watching “Saving Private Ryan” and took a nap. It is a depressing and touching show and Spielberg was absolutely brilliant.

Stupid insomnia.
It screwed up my mind! Hahaha. Ok for once I felt "legitimate" to blame that for it.


Firstly, I didn't know what was in my mind at 5.30am to spur me to set my alarm clock at 10am to ballot for tutorials, which could be done ANYTIME before 3pm. For that redundant effort, I hope I do get the time slots I want!


Secondly, I missed my 12pm lecture cos I thought it started at 2pm! I only knew it when I text a friend at 12.30pm to ask him to help "print notes for later"...

So ta da~ I have broken my new year's resolution (to attend ALL lectures) on the 2nd week.



I didn't feel smart at all in any way.



So, I ended up vacuuming the entire house (it was a good workout) and cooking soup again with the remaining ingredients.

Had a taste of a housewife's life. Haha.....




Had cello lesson in the evening... And throughout we only focused on TWO bars, ie less than 10 notes. But in those 2 bars alone there were many techniques to learn...

There is a mountain of skills I have yet to grasp. Sometimes it gets discouraging. It's like standing on top of the mountain, trying to shovel away the earth beneath you, in an attempt to flatter the mountain.

It is unrealistic and impossible.

Like what my teacher said... It is a never-ending process of learning. No one can say he/she has known everything about the cello.

So we simply have to keep flattening the mountain, till we can dance on it! And keep shoveling till the surface area of flattened earth becomes larger and larger and hence more dancing fun!


Me and my 2.30am analogy. I hope it makes sense! Hahaha.


~~~


Received a phone call from Mum after lesson and she delievered a good and an extremely bad news.

Life has been flatuating. I don't bother letting my guards down anymore. Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish that my life could be a little more "normal" for once.


Whatever the case, I'm praying for the best, knowing that God is in control of every situation. A kind of quiet trust in the midst of turmoil. =)

It's 4:42 in the morning.

I CAN'T SLEEP. There is a great influx of thoughts running through my mind. And I dunno why.


Had a free day and it was great.

Piano lesson was fine, teacher extended 0.5 hours more again and reminded me that I have 7 weeks (= 7 lessons) to exam. 7 seems long so it didn't stir anything in me hahaha.

Being random as I am, I had the urge to cook some soup after lesson? And so I did and was very proud of that hahaha. Dad liked it too! :)

After being happy with my extremely healthy and tasty soup, I went to watch "Did You Hear About The Morgans?" ! Cos a schoolmate treated hahaha. I am so blessed recently! Maybe God knows I get EMO when school starts. Need lots of such surprise therapies. Lol...




















Anyway, the show was hilarious (though the plot was lame)! We were laughing throughout lol... But I dunno why "The Newpaper" only rated 2.5 stars for it. Chey no sense of humour! Whoever that was.



Went for cellgroup and on my way back at about midnight, I witnessed a disgraceful act.

A boyfriend pushed his girlfriend onto the floor right in front of me. And walked away feeling mighty proud.


Wth was wrong with him I do not know, but that was no way to treat a woman.

The girl was on the floor and whimpering. I was in utter shock. Things like that only happen in DRAMAs right??? Stupid naive me.

She stood up and I went over to her... She was wearing an ITE uniform, the same as her bf's. I tried to comfort her and asked her some questions... Found out that they had a quarrel and it was his first time (and I hope it'd be the last.) abusing her like that.

Well, throughout, I had a strong urge to tell her to just break up with that ____. But, who was I to say that? So I didn't and just told her that he shouldn't do that to her. I hope she knows that she deserves to be treated better.

She insisted that I should go home soon, so I hugged her and left, feeling quite helpless about the situation.


What could I have done?


~~

Life has been pretty interesting since the start of school. And it all has NOTHING to do with school! Obviously.

It's 5:22am now and I am still not tired... Suppose to have a lecture and cello lesson later. Sometimes I do not understand myself too. Maybe it's my soup???!!! =) Celery power! Hahaha... -_-

After school yesterday, I was reading a book on my bed beside the radio. It was tuned to Symphony 92.4 since I was in the rare mood for some classicals...

It happened that the DJ was calling for people to call for a pair of concert tickets. So, for the mere thrill of it I called.

To my surprise, it actually rang. And to my utmost surprise, the DJ actually picked up! Hahahaha. I couldn't believe it.

The conversation went like this..


Me: Hallo?
Her: Hi
Me: Is this Symphony 92.4?
Her: Yes, and you are calling for?
Me: (What else duh...) Erm... The concert tickets?
Her: Haha ya, congratulations you're the first caller. Do you know the name of the concert you're calling in for?
Me: Haha! I don't know. (I felt dumb seriously) Erm... Let me think. *......* But I know the pianist's name!
Her: Haha, so what is the pianist's name?
Me: Joel Ma!
Her: Ok for that I will give you the tickets to *the name which I didn't catch again* on 23 January at 8pm.



Lol, then she took down my particulars and I should receive the tickets soon by mail.

It'd be at the Arts House, Living Room.



Looks not bad!

Hahaha.

And I checked. The name of the event is called "The Jewelled Air". It's a reed trio consisting of an Oboe, Bassoon and Clarinet, with pianist Joel NAH (Not Ma! Hahaha. Must be influenced by YoYo-Ma.) And each ticket costs $25.

I'm totally not a fan of woodwinds though... Haha, shall see...


~~~


Went for a nap after the news and practised my cello at night...

Was just practising on the Tenor Clef, still trying to figure out how to sight-read it... And after a few minutes, it was like what my teacher said... I got a REVELATION and as if in a snap of a finger, I could sight-read it there and then!!!

It's amazing. Exhilarating. And totally unexpected.

Previously I had to write the alphabets of the notes one by one above the notes, but now I don't have to!!!

It was like Magic, like my cello was playing some funny tricks on me! I was so darn happy.


Talk about the joy of learning! =)

First day of school!

Nothing special, just that the crowd and noise level were especially high.

Dad picked me up from school at 7.30pm and we went over to his office for a while... It was nice to see a Bible on his desk. =) Over there, you could see me furiously printing out my school notes and stuff. In COLOUR. Hahaha.


Came back and practised on my instruments... Lazed around while reading notes for tomorrow. Quite proud of myself... Hopefully this can last through the semester. Yesss...


Felt bored and practised on cello again... Trying to get a technique right... And just as I THOUGHT I got it... My dad opened my door and told me to stop 'playing'.

Imagine as you are about to sink your teeth into a juicy burger, someone snatch it away and eat it! That was how I felt. =/

I hate my practices to be interrupted.

But I do understand it was already 12.40am. =/

I understand that they don't understand too.


But... I have already mute my cello and I was playing loooong slooooow notes on the Eb major scale!!! Unless it sounded horrible and nightmare-inducing... Sigh.


Anyway, this is nothing new.





Ok, happy with my rant. Going to bed now.

Still up! Trying to relish the final moments of my hardly-there holiday.


Talk about the unpredictability of life...


I left my handphone in the toilet today (2nd time) at the Airport and realised it only about half an hour later. This shows how often I check it.

As expected, it wasn't there anymore when we went over. Throughout the 'ordeal', I swear I was really 'zen' and calm about it. Haha... (Maybe I have lost it too many times??? Ha... Or maybe this couldn't be compared to the damage done to my piano.)

I was just concerned over the pictures in it! My Indonesia and little random pictures which I haven't uploaded due to my malfunctioned laptop...

A friend made numerous calls to my handphone but nobody answered though it was ringing. We couldn't understand, I guess it'd been too long a time that the founder probably had chucked it aside.

So my friend sent a text to my handphone, hoping that the founder would call.


We made our way to a reception counter to fill in a lost report form. This form and reception counter thing never work. Seriously. Most of the time, if people sincerely want to return your phone, they will try ways and means first rather than to surrender it to the receptionist.

As I was filling up the form, my mind was already thinking of all the hassle I would have to go through to get a new phone... And contacts... And of course gone are my lovely pictures.


But well, there is always a twist to a story!

RIGHT after I filled up the form, my friend received a phone call. Not from the founder, but from my DAD! With the good news that my handphone was in safe hands. Thing was, the founder was already in NOVENA...

My dad then went over to the founder's place and retrieved it for me. The founder happened to be a doctor at TTSH... And guess what? He even gave my dad a chocolate cake.

 
Unbelievable. But take that!



Mystery for you to solve: Throughout the entire event, neither me nor my friend had ANY form of interaction with the founder. How did my dad end up calling my friend???

Clue: THINK! It's not that difficult a mystery lol... =)


Unanswered questions
1) Why did the founder take my handphone with him all the way to Novena from the Airport???
2) How did he reach there in such a short amount of time??? (After half an hour, we checked the toilet, filed a report and *Bam* he was in Novena???)


Obviously he drove, but I still can't fathom it. Unless he was in a rush?


I am beginning to think perhaps he's an ANGEL... Haha...

It was just a really strange event altogether. Though I am still rather surreal about it.


But I am really grateful to be back with my phone and the founder made a slightly better impression of doctors for me. =P

Woke up this morning right AFTER a sweet dream. :) Wish my dream come trueee hahaha.

Lunched alone @ JP and played a bit of piano before heading to the pooool. For a moment I wondered why was I the only female there, then I realised cos I was in SAFRA... Lol.

Highlight of the day was probably my cello lesson!

Teacher commented that I have improved much since the last lesson (which was in Nov). :) So that's good news. :)


I have to attribute it to the "Eb Major scale" which I am currently addicted to and those previous circumstances which, in a way, "urged" me to practise as a form of outlet.

Emo nights are best to practise the cello.

At least something good came out of it.


Of cos I have some bad habits to get rid of and improve... PATIENT PRACTICES. Don't pretend you don't know it's wrong. Don't assume you can get it right 'somehow' the next time! Pay attention to every sound you make. Keep reminding yourself until it becomes second nature!

A good musician doesn't require the teacher to always keep a lookout.


Some of the things I learnt today. =)

Nice slow day. The kind you feel you have all the time in the world. :)

I woke up especially early at 10.30am for my 11am piano lesson after being away for 1 month. Teacher is now preparing me for my theory exam in March... So it's all plain boring stuff.

She taught me for half an hour more today, I could see that she was trying to complete as much as possible since I have a lot more to catch up. I think I'm too chill..... I need some sense of urgency haha.


My day was otherwise spent mostly in my room practising/playing my instruments... And idling away while trying to do some theory papers... Days like that hardly come by and I really like it. :)

School is starting next week. It will last for about 16 weeks? Followed by a 6-week attachment.


I am dreading it and it's easy to know why...

It is energy-consuming and at the end of it all, produces so little outcome. In this span of 3 months, we have to cram in 5 modules. This is quantity over quality. That's probably the reason why a lot of us don't remember the things we studied... Because we're only doing so for the _____ sake of exams?

Would you choose a module which is easy to score, lest you lose out to your peers, or one which you are geniunely interested in?

Or worse, choose something you have already learnt previously in whichever school you came from. -_-

Is everyone just going through the motion?



I always feel I have better things to do when I am in school.

That being said, it could jolly well just be me and my bad attitude. Haaaahaa.




On the other hand, I am comtemplating whether to return to NUSSO (Symphony Orchestra)???

Pros
1) Maaaannnnyyyy more instruments to play with
2) Will definitely stretch my capacity due to the difficulty level (Then I'll probably feel bad about myself or rather my skills)
3) Convenience. It's in school!

Cons
1) Refer to 2. It's a tough mental battle...
2) Practise day and time clash with my church orchestra's... And already there're barely 3 cellists.


Shall see...

Finally watched 3D "Avatar" today! I'm very curious as to how this 3D effect actually work and why are the spectacle lens red! My friend said it is due to some light frequency trick??? Damage to one spectacle will cause you a hefty $85, which amounts to almost $100 for a movie! Haha.

(Some spoiler ahead... =P)

Anyway, my favourite part of the movie was when crippled Jake first became an avatar and started running, so fast and carelessly.

In our minds, there are no boundaries. We become who we truly want to become and appear in places we've always wanted to be.

Best of all, nobody knows. And thus no one can ridicule or bring you down.

Who would have known that Jake would later become THE hero of Pandora???

(Oh by the way, I love the scenary at Pandora!!! Though it is highly fictional.)


In my opinion, "Avatar" is more than merely how human's selfishness lead to massive destruction, it is about the power of one's thoughts.

Think about it :)


~~~



I'm still mulling over what pastor said last service... That "time is in God's hands". That although we have received a vision from God, it is ultimately still up to Him when it is going to be realised. For eg: At 85, God told Abraham that he was going to have a son. However, it wasn't until 15 years later that this actually came to past.

I guess we just have to be patient and keep believing in His promises. After all, God knows what/who/when is best for you! :)



8 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
9 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so my ways are higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9

Glad to be back @ church after missing last week's service. Just 1 service and I feel like I had been away for so long! Haha.

Happy to be praising and worshipping God with MengChing, being touched by the love of God together. It was awesome... Truly, a day in the House of God is better than a thousand days in the world! :)



Anyway, I have been crying every day since I returned. Some things are too much to bear. Unreasonable requests and unfair treatments. Most of the time I am the one giving in, resorting to my own room in the company of my precious posessions. I don't see any point in mindless arguments which will eventually lead to a futile ending anyway.


Been practising much cello lately, I guess distance (literally) makes the heart grow fonder. :) I was practising on my bed today and it was so convenient to just lie back for a rest. I did that and actually fell asleep! With my cello still between my legs lol... Thankfully it didn't fall off, otherwise that'd be another tragedy. Boo.



And yes, I did play on my piano today. It was still heartbreaking to see the damage. Thankfully it is at the side, so I won't see it if I make a conscious effort not to. I am probably in the "denial" stage now. =P Didn't play much, just some worship songs...

After this incident, the statement "The world can take everything away from me but God is mine forever." becomes more real.

I thank God for keeping me rather composed and rational in such a time. I dunno, it must have been divine intervention. =P



Well, leaving you with the verse of the day!

So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

2 Corinthians 4:18

Had a rocky start to the year.


Part of my piano was ripped apart. How is that possible? Beats me. But damn it.

That's one of the most cruel thing a person can do to me.

It takes an insane person to do so.



Anyway, I have grieved over it and is now in a speechless state. I don't even bear to look at my piano. It's too heartbreaking. Little wooden shavings are still lying on the piano lid.

I don't even dare to play on it now. Who knows how it would sound??? Though it looks unaffected, I don't wanna receive another blow as yet, just in case. Maybe tomorrow.


Due to this incident, I finally took out my cello and practised on some scales. It was quite fun, I like how my cello sounds. :)



~~~


Dear God,
Thank You for blessing me with a piano and cello. Please protect both of them. You know how much they mean to me. Please take away every negative emotions and thoughts, and teach me how to forgive like how You have forgiven me time and time again for the stupid things I said and did.

In Jesus' name I pray,
AMEN.